I could feel my heart pounding, my cheeks salty and soaked with tears. I tried to lift myself with my elbows. I gave up, sinking back against the arm of the couch. My head screamed as another wave of pain crashed against the insides of my skull, against the back of my eyes.
I’m going to go blind.
I was sure of it. I lifted my hand to my eyes and squinted it at it through the semi-darkness, studying my slender fingers through streaming eyes.
Please, please- I don’t want to go blind. Let me sleep, let me faint so I don’t have to do this.
I bit into my blanket, and clutched it tight against my chest. My knees were shaking and my hands felt barely strong enough to cling to the fleece. I could feel a thin layer of sweat chilling my entire body and my shoulders shivered violently. I couldn’t gather the strength to slide into my sleeping bag.
My ears are bleeding, why are my ears bleeding? What’s happening?
I reached a shaking hand to my ear and realized I was imagining the blood. I was sure it should have been snaking its way down my neck from shattered eardrums. I slid my hand from my ear to cover aching eyes.
I wish I’d turned that lamp off.
My chest heaved with labored breath, I was gasping through an open mouth as if I’d barely avoided drowning, breaking the water’s surface to fill pleading lungs. I could feel my pulse drumming at my throat, could hear it rushing in my ears. Vomit threatened to escape me.
“Kim,” I called. I heard the clatter from the other room, something dropped onto a keyboard in surprise.
“What’s up?” She asked. I couldn’t see her, my hand was still shielding my eyes from the blinding glare of the floor lamp, but I could tell she had entered the living room and was looking down at me laying ridged across the couch, my sleeping bag tangled with the contents of my suitcase on the floor.
“Can you wake up Grandpa? I need to go to the hospital. I can’t breathe.” My voice broke as I began to sob again.
xxx.