I had a strange thought the other
day, “I hope there’s sadness in heaven.” Tonight, as I climbed into the car
to drive home, Connor leaned in the door and looked at me.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I replied sincerely. A few
tears were weaving down my cheeks.
“Your eyes tell me otherwise,” he
said, gesturing to the tears.
I told him, “sometimes you can be
sad and okay at the same time.”
I really believe that. You can be
sad and okay at the same time, and that feeling is also okay. There is a quote
from the book “The Fountainhead” by Ayn Rand that I like, “Man's first frown is
the first touch of God on his forehead.”
Rand is
referring to the furrowed brow of thought, but I think the sentiment can work
for a healthy dose of sadness. It’s impossible to have true joy in life without
the struggle and the sorrow; the valleys one must weather to reach the peaks.
I find a
sense of calm in sadness. It tends to be the side effect of growth and the
result of accepting hard truths. Sadness can be wound with confusion and
indecision, but it can also come with clarity. I enjoy the peaceful exhaustion
of a good cry and the deep self-awareness that comes when I can calmly accept
the sorrow that life brings me, open to its ability to urge my growth.
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